VIPASSANA
I had heard from a person we met on a
ballooning trip we did out of Alice about a meditation retreat in Blackheath
outside Sydney, she said that it was great, taught her a lot, sorted stuff out
in her head and helped her relax. Well as I have always wanted to learn to
mediate, could do with a bit of sorting out and according to Colman could do
with a bit of chilling out and learning to relax, I thought I might try it. It
was free and the idea was that at the end you gave a donation suitable to you.
Spoke with Colman about it and he said he would do it also, so we (I) slotted
the 10 day retreat into the beginning of our holidays. Now, I knew very little
about the what's and wherefores of the whole thing but basically you get
yourself there Wednesday afternoon, 10 days of retreat and you leave Sunday
morning, they provide somewhere to sleep and food. As I met a few people who
had also done this I learnt some more, stuff like, no talking for the duration,
vegetarian, sitting on cushions for the meditation, in my infinite wisdoms I
decided to keep those bits to myself, no point in scaring Colman!!! (Yeh!!! I
had asked around too & knew what I was getting into wasn’t sure I could do
the full term but how hard could it be ???????) So off we went, left Alice and
drove down to Adelaide where we spent a couple of days with my mother, getting
organised and did very little else, (except for socialise) pretty busy. Then to
Sydney to stay with friends (Sue & Bruce) in Austinmer near Wollongong for
the weekend, went for a great walk and picnic, spot of swimming, lots of talk
and drink and eat. Also went to see a band called the Dead27, a tribute band to
all the rock starts who died at 27, fascinating, never realised there were so
many, Hendrix, Morrison, Winehouse, Cobain and a few others that I fail to
remember. After that we got an Airbnb in Newtown for a couple of days during
which we caught up with Derek, Simone and Campbell for dinner at their place in
Lane Cove, lovely to see them all again. Then it was off by train to
Blackheath. Decided to walk from the station to the retreat, not a good move,
only a 10 minute walk “said the station attendant” 25 minutes of hard going especially with all our luggage, by
the time we got there we were a little "tense" shall we say and our
luggage a lot the worse for wear ( Very
little of the plastic wheels left on either suitcase )we arrive at the gate.
Anyway, we finally registered, put all our valuables in lock up, handed over
our mobile phones, books, paper, pen, reading materials, music and anything
else that could potentially control boredom, oh my! We were then told where we would be
sleeping, we both got lucky, Colman was in a room by himself and it overlooked
the bush, I shared a room with one other girl and we were right near the
toilets and the kitchen. Then we were told to gather in the dining area, males
one side, females other side, once we go to our first meditation at 7pm that
evening, there will be no communication with anyone, includes talking, eye
contact or physical contact. Colman and I said our goodbyes, which was really
weird and then we were split up into male and female dining rooms. That evening,
up until meditation, we could talk to our own sex, but the men had already been
separated out. They stayed in a different area of the retreat, mediated in
their half of the hall and ate in a completely separate dining room. Right,
about the next 9.5 days, here is a synopsis of the day, first gong at 4am ‘wake
up” second gong at 4.20am, “begin to get ready & walk to meditation hall for
meditation” at 4.30. Colman got the dubious honor of being the gong man in one
of the male sleeping quarters “but not too loud as the neighbours complain “.
First morning I was up at 4am, washed my face, brushed the teeth, fixed
the hair a bit, mascara, earring and dress. Next morning, I was up at 4.15,
teeth, mascara, earrings, next morning 4.25, teeth, dress, end. Meditate until
6.30, then breakfast, yummy bread so I was all good, until I discover, No
Coffee (artificial stimulation, not allowed), sh....t, now what do I do, right
deal with it and move on, ugh. Time for a walk around the bushlands of the
retreat, the setting was spectacular on top of one of the ridges of the Blue
Mountains , great views and very peaceful atmosphere with heaps of wild life.
Oh speaking of wildlife, there were 5 rules you had to obey while at the
retreat. No killing (anything), no talking, no interacting (eye contact) or
touching others, as well as a couple of others we have both forgotten, but
which might come back later! Now Point 1 about no killing, a fail for me on the
first day, I caused the death of one spider and one fly on day 1, hmm, not
looking good. Then rest till 8am and off to meditation until 11.45, lunch which
was vegetarian but ok, as long as you could get your hands on the salt and
pepper, all was well. I discovered later that they try and keep food bland so
you don't get excited and loose the meditation plot!! After that some
more walking, and yep, you guessed off to meditation at 1pm till 5pm this was
followed by "dinner". Imagine the shock, you walk in expecting, soup,
bread, anything, instead you find a bowl with an apple and a pear, right fine,
so this is entree, try as I might I could not spot anything else, as you
couldn't talk there was no one to ask, Really?!?!?! An apple and a pear for
dinner, I don't like apples and pears, my least favourite fruit, buggar......so
I ate my apple and my pear feeling sorry for myself, before we headed off
for........meditation, which included a 1 1/2 hour discourse via film, by Bupha
(the person who re-established Vipassana meditation ) talking about the what's
and whyfores of the next 10 days, followed by a spot of meditation before
hitting the bed at 9.30 and lights out at 10pm. So that is the outline of every
day for the next 9 days. As can be imagined, not everything went according to
plan, I killed another spider and one more fly, I made eye contact with Colman
as well as one or two other students, but worse was to come, oops. When you
arrive there you hand everything in that could disrupt your meditation, no
reading or writing material allowed. Well in one of my moments of boredom I decided
to rearrange my suitcase, and guess what I found, a jar of Nescafé, a book and
pencil and paper, excitement plus. I decided I would write Colman a note, hmm,
now how to get it to him, can't get caught so while everyone was having
breakfast, I snuck up to the meditation hall, crept in, snuck over to the “mens
side of the hall (Oh Germs) and tucked it into his chair, without getting
caught!!! I also read a little of my book, hidden under the blanket with
a torch so my roommate wouldn't catch me if she walked in, and started off a
food trade with the coffee “with some of the other desperate inmates”.There
were about 5 of us who weren't very good at the whole no talking, looking,
smiling thing, so while the rest walked around the majority looked like their
favourite pet dog had died and they'd been diagnosed with herpes, our little
'illegal' group did the whole smile (a little), nod, wave etc., and another
lady and I, well we went the whole hog and had a conversation, or three, where
the coffee trade started. She was diabetic, so she got different food, vegemite
and cheese sandwiches, the excitement was great and the trade started, coffee
for a bit of vegemite and cheese, another girls got bananas, so I had some
lollies which were traded for that and so the four of us were swapping food
like school kids, oh well it kept us entertained. I was told off a couple of
times for talking and was called up to the head teachers office one day because
I was seen to be having a conversation while out on my daily walk, they
recognised me but needed me to inform on my conversation buddy, I told them it
was a dark haired Indian girl, which I guess narrows it down somewhat! Anyway they found her and she got a talking to
also. Found out later that the gossip in the male side was that the women were
causing trouble, especially the one who always wears that red scarf!!!”Oops
Busted” Colman also had an interesting time, fell down the stairs, snuck me a
few illegal notes and heard all about the problem the women were causing!!!
The grand finale came half way through
day 10, when we allowed to start speaking (still no touching), yeh sure! hugs
all around the first few hours sounded
like I was stuck in a chicken coop, the noise was amazing, just people talking
and laughing. At that point the "spell" was over and it was extremely
difficult to do the last few meditation sessions required. It all felt strange and at that point I
wanted out, and so did many others by the sounds of it, many of us commented
that they should have let us keep silence for the day, or end the mediation
earlier. Anyway, it was great talking to all these different people and finding
out why some were here, very interesting and varied stories.
The outcome of the retreat, I can't speak for Colman, he wasn't as excited about it all as I was. For me, it was good. I eventually realised that the whole not talking, not reading stuff was for your own good, it helped the meditation, by the end of the third day you were asking yourself what was that important email I was supposed to send & if I really need to know who is on Chat on Facebook all the time. However I found the not making eye contact and not touching to be the hardest. To me that was just unnatural, but I mostly managed. The reason I went was to learn to meditate, and I have done so and enjoyed it as such, I cannot imagine doing it for one hour three times a day, but every so often is good. Eventually, after about 4 days, I got the hang of it and started to feel really good, despite sitting cross legged for about 11 hours a day. Although I was one of the few who did not really go there to sort out any major life dilemmas, you nevertheless reflect back on your life, sort out who and what is important, and what really doesn't matter and should be left go. I feel calmer and better for it, mind you as Colman has pointed out who wouldn't while on a tropical holiday. I guess the proof is in the pudding when we get back to Oz. For all those who thought I was running away to join a sect, let me assure you, not even close and it also has no religious affiliation whatsoever, it is based on the Buddha philosophy, which interesting enough I had (inadvertently) already been a great believer in,as well as the whole karma stuff. The teacher talks about all religions, but condones none, nor does he slate any. As far as payment, many of us were of the opinion that they would line us up at the end and shame us into making good contributions. Not so! They gave you back your wallets, they had a cash machine and the rest was up to you, we did not give anything but plan to when we get back to Oz, everything around us, the grounds, buildings, food was from donations and volunteer work, the people cooking and cleaning were people who had been to the course before and the money required to run everything was what we are asked to donate interestingly enough you must have done the ten day course before the allow you to donate or volunteer as they say themselves if Bill gates were to say ‘here is a million $” they would have to say to him would you like to do a course before we accept it. They do ask for people to do volunteer as helpers while others are doing the course, both catering and maintenance, and neither of us would be averse to this, for me it is definitely on the agenda. I think the very bottom line for me is, if there is any traumatic event in my future, I will not be off to see some psychologist or counsellor and support their next trip overseas, I will go back up to Vipassana at Blackheath (the first custom built one and the prettiest one in Oz). Colman on the other hand will most likely have his nails pulled out with red-hot tongs before he goes through that again :-)!
The outcome of the retreat, I can't speak for Colman, he wasn't as excited about it all as I was. For me, it was good. I eventually realised that the whole not talking, not reading stuff was for your own good, it helped the meditation, by the end of the third day you were asking yourself what was that important email I was supposed to send & if I really need to know who is on Chat on Facebook all the time. However I found the not making eye contact and not touching to be the hardest. To me that was just unnatural, but I mostly managed. The reason I went was to learn to meditate, and I have done so and enjoyed it as such, I cannot imagine doing it for one hour three times a day, but every so often is good. Eventually, after about 4 days, I got the hang of it and started to feel really good, despite sitting cross legged for about 11 hours a day. Although I was one of the few who did not really go there to sort out any major life dilemmas, you nevertheless reflect back on your life, sort out who and what is important, and what really doesn't matter and should be left go. I feel calmer and better for it, mind you as Colman has pointed out who wouldn't while on a tropical holiday. I guess the proof is in the pudding when we get back to Oz. For all those who thought I was running away to join a sect, let me assure you, not even close and it also has no religious affiliation whatsoever, it is based on the Buddha philosophy, which interesting enough I had (inadvertently) already been a great believer in,as well as the whole karma stuff. The teacher talks about all religions, but condones none, nor does he slate any. As far as payment, many of us were of the opinion that they would line us up at the end and shame us into making good contributions. Not so! They gave you back your wallets, they had a cash machine and the rest was up to you, we did not give anything but plan to when we get back to Oz, everything around us, the grounds, buildings, food was from donations and volunteer work, the people cooking and cleaning were people who had been to the course before and the money required to run everything was what we are asked to donate interestingly enough you must have done the ten day course before the allow you to donate or volunteer as they say themselves if Bill gates were to say ‘here is a million $” they would have to say to him would you like to do a course before we accept it. They do ask for people to do volunteer as helpers while others are doing the course, both catering and maintenance, and neither of us would be averse to this, for me it is definitely on the agenda. I think the very bottom line for me is, if there is any traumatic event in my future, I will not be off to see some psychologist or counsellor and support their next trip overseas, I will go back up to Vipassana at Blackheath (the first custom built one and the prettiest one in Oz). Colman on the other hand will most likely have his nails pulled out with red-hot tongs before he goes through that again :-)!
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